My 2019 Anti-Haul List
As the holiday season has passed and the weather will soon ease from winter to spring, I find myself yearning for a personal splurge. Nothing beckons to me more than a fashion site like ASOS, Urban Outfitters, or Nasty Gal. Their sales have me scrambling, mind clouded by my inherent consumerism.
As I wait in line, work out at the gym, or simply sit on the toilet, I robotically open a shopping app and fill my cart with unnecessary buys. And yet, as I place sheer tops in my virtual bag, I realize that these are items of clothing I will never wear. I love how various fashion bloggers sport such trends, but athleisure is clearly not for me.
As a reminder to not give into trendy clothing (I mean, how many seasons will bell sleeves last?) I made another anti-haul list. You may remember my first anti-haul list from 2017 where I outline my own I-will-never-be-able-to-wear-this-well fashion trends, plus the benefits of you creating your own list.
It is time to tack a few more items onto that tally.
Perhaps you, too, wish to steer clear of these articles of clothing. Or maybe you’ll snag some inspiration from the people I share who can actually rock these trends (unlike me).
I remember cheetah print being the “hot” spring style when I was in high school. It had the shelf life of a badly bruised apple. I blinked and suddenly the trend was replaced by feather earrings, hair extensions, and all owl accessories (also short lived, thank goodness). Though I love how fashionistas have been rocking the cheetah style, I’m afraid to invest in any pieces as I sense its extinction on the horizon.
(Okay I know that was a brutal joke. No, cheetahs should not go extinct. Yes, their endangerment is very upsetting. Here’s a link to a cheetah conservation organization to counter my horribly cliché, ill-advised [though absolutely self-indulgent] comment.)
Lingerie as Everyday Tops
So this looks sexy as hell and props to any woman who can rock the look with confidence and grace and general badassery. Every time I see a beauty blogger in her killer black lingerie bodysuit paired with some high waisted jeans, it brings to mind sassy Sandy at the end of Grease.
Nonetheless, you will never see me sporting this trend.
For one, I don’t particularly like lingerie. I don’t know where to put it, how to fold it, and I find the thin straps, mesh material, and lace annoying as all hell.
Secondly, almost everything I wear is business casual (downside of a day job) and there is no way I could rock this in the office—no matter how fly it looks with a blazer.
(Side not, these women at Buzzfeed wore lingerie everyday for a week and somehow made it cute enough, and semi-appropriate, for work. Watch the video here.)
Cross Body Fanny Packs
I think this is one of those looks that only works on the east or west coast. Something about the seaside, and, I suppose, enormous cities full of unique people, make this look work.
But I live in Colorado where cowboys are aplenty and a drive in any direction for more than an hour is bound to bring you to a ranch, mountains, sprawling prairies, or the like.
Fanny packs just don’t work here. To be anything but white in my state is unique enough (aka, I'm "exotic" and that earns plenty of stares), rocking an 80s staple as a purse is just too darn peculiar for us Westerners.
If you find yourself piling items into your virtual shopping bag, maybe it is time for you to create an ant-haul list too.