Happy Thanksgiving (yesterday)!
I rarely write about things I am thankful for, nor do I frequently express my thankfulness to others. In fact, I feel there are usually so many issues that continue throughout Thanksgiving (such as the pipeline protests and the Black Lives Matter protests last year) that I feel kind of silly for expressing thanks and a tad dismissive of current social issues.
But this year, I am going to express my gratitude. I am making an effort to be more conscious and declarative of what and who I appreciate. Also, 2016 has just been hard for me. There were far more downs than ups. I hate relying on other people, but this year I relied heavily on others to help me get back on my feet. So I’d especially like to thank them:
Thank you to my mother, who saved me from myself at my lowest time. Who took care of me even when I couldn’t care about anything at all. Who got me help when I needed it. Who fed me and let me complain and got me out of bed when I couldn’t on my own.
Thank you to my mom's boyfriend, who turns holidays in to big family events. Who likes playing board games after dinner (who knew that was a thing!?). Who lets me steal my mom when I need her. Who paid my car insurance, unbeknownst to me, the last two years of my college career (when money was an enormous stressor in my life).
Thank you to my father, who gave me the verbal support I needed to get through my last semester of college. I was mentally exhausted, but he helped give me that final push I needed to finally graduate and earn a 4.0 my last semester. He helped me to feel confident in my skills and ability. Thank you also for helping me cover car repair payments when I couldn't. For reminding me I need change my oil more often than once a year (oops).
Thank you to my friends, who have supported me through all my tough times this year (and many years previous). Thank you for letting me complain to you about medications, exes, heartbreak, mourning and loss. Thank you for allowing me be sad and selfish when I didn’t have the capacity to care about others. Thank you for not holding that against me, for being understanding. Thank you for letting me talk through my silly anxieties (like whether I left the stove on or if I have cancer) until I felt better. Thank you for holding me accountable. Thank you for coming to my lame art shows.
Thank you to my mental health providers (yep, it just got that personal). I know I pay you and you are just doing your job, but without you I’d know so little about myself, I’d be miserable, I wouldn’t be making strides to be a happier and healthier person. Like for real, thank you. I am so happy now.
Thank you to my coworkers and bosses, who were understanding during my rough patches. Who offered immense support. Who altered so much of my job to better assist me. Who hold me accountable and encourage thought provoking conversations. Who are respectful of multiple views. Who contribute to and create such a positive, safe, accepting environment in our office.
Thank you to my Grandmother, who says “I love you,” in the sweetest, most loving way. She says it like the words were formed in her heart and are filling it to the brim, waiting to be released. Her voice is full, the words, thick like honey, stick to me and cover me in a warm glow. I. Love. You. It sinks straight in to my bones and warms me cold heart until I finally see Grandma again. ;)
Thank you to my family who screamed so loud at my graduation ceremony it startled me and many others. Thank you for supporting me always. Thank you for fixing my hair and telling me when my butt is falling out of my shorts. Thank you for our Thanksgiving dinners. I love them. I love how warm the house is with our laughter. I love how our voices carry over the football commentary from the television. I love how we catch up on life, love, politics. I love squeezing my cousins’ hands as hard as I can during prayer. I love the home cooked meals. I love my family.
I could go on forever, but we’ll keep this short(ish). Thank you all. If I missed you: thank you.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
- G R A C E