A nonsensical, unexpected, humorous poem just for you

Sorry I have been so poor at posting lately! The holidays had me spread thin. I went from one state to another to another with only a few days in between. As I write this, I am laying in my own bed for the first time in almost 3 weeks! I have to admit, my bed is notoriously uncomfortable but damn does it feel good to be back in it.

To make up for my sporadic posting as of late I wanted to share this poem my friend Ben wrote for an old class. He let me read it when I was visiting him in Baltimore and I died laughing.

Ben has a unique way of writing. His prose is jumbled and playful and dark--mostly it's all over the place--yet it always comes together in a clean and humorous conclusion.

Ben is a no rules kind of writer, which is one of the reasons I love his prose. Though he does not write frequently--he is a graphic designer and makes guitars on the side--I am always excited when I am able to glimpse at a bit of his prose and poetry.

You will have to tell me what you think of his poem in the comments below! I am very interested in how others perceive his work. Enjoy!


by ben torres


Pastures are lovely and pastures are fine

I fondly remember pastures time after time


Pastures are nice and pastures are fun

Such room to frolic and such room to run


Pastures are nurturing and supple and sweet

There’s room to grow barley and room to grow wheat


Pastures have farms with happy brown cows

They’re over by the shed where dad keeps the plows




I sure do love pastures, you can probably relate

It’s a place to take lovers out on a date


Pastures are friendly and dapper and neat

With happy green grass that tickles your feet


Pasture have thistles I’m sure you will learn

With poisonous prickles that make your feet burn


Pastures smell fresh and pastures smell clean

With little men in the air that filter your spleen


Pastures are silly and funny and weird

They’ll make you laugh till you cry and then fill you with fear


Pastures have feelings and pastures feel hate

They’ll castrate your cattle so that they can’t mate


Pastures take form as horrible beasts

That ruin your crops and the thanksgiving feast


Pastures hate you because they think that you're boring

They sneak through your windows at three in the morning


Pastures eat the who pudding and they eat the who hash

They look through your drawers and steal all your cash


Pastures eat limbs but they also eat light

You are shrouded in darkness and can’t put up a fight




Pastures are wrinkly and pastures are old

Pastures suck on your nostrils to steel your young soul


Pastures are metallic with tentacle armor

They suck at your brain cells so you will have thoughts no longer


Pastures spit fire and they love to take turns

You hear your sister screaming as the family room burns


Pastures have teeth and have eaten the milk cows utters

Now they’re eating your mother slowly and they’ll kidnap your brothers


Pastures like blood and they want to see it bad

They use their sharp claws to bleed your poor dad


Pastures put probes in your lungs and they study your breath

The pain is unbearable, you are begging for death


But pastures feel mercy so they pop your human head

So you can be just like your family, one of the dead


See more of Ben's creative work (he mostly does graphic design, art, and guitar building) by following him on Instagram, viewing his Behance, or following his guitar company, Evil Evil, on Instagram.

What did you think of the poem? Let me know!

- G R A C E